Harry potter ...the unlikely endings

Everyone is impatiently waiting for the harry potter books and so, i thought may be we should discuss some unlikely endings for the book...

There is no spoils here...and all these are just figments of imaginations

7. Voldemort finally reveals the truth to Harry, "Dumbledore told you I killed your father. He lied! I, Voldemort, am your father!" Hermione later turns out to be Harry's long lost twin sister. (so star wars like)

6. Harry retrieves the final five Hoarcruxes, only to enter into an amicable agreement with Voldemort aided by lalu prasad yaadav jee mediating the discussions whereby they postpone their showdown for seven more books. (hehahahahahahaha, long live lalujee)

5. Dumbledore returns, cloaked in robes of white with white shoes on, at which point Jitendra sues dumbledore and intervenes and the rest of the book is withheld by a court ordered injunction.

4. After learning the truth of the prophecy as told to Harry by Dumbledore, Neville Longbottom decides to take matters into his own hands. He neatly finishes off Voldemort in one book, then seriously fucks up Harry for stealing the seven book franchise that should have been his to begin with.

3. After waiting a decade for conclusion of the saga of the Boy Who Lived, millions of fans around world wait in line the night before the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows only to receive a notice that the final book will not be made available to the public until J.K. Rowlings is made the new reigning monarch of England. The British parliament has a good laugh ... until the fighting breaks out.

2. Harry Potter does indeed die, and, as in all hindi movies, the evil woman did it. That's right. Mrs. Weasley finally shows her true colors, exactly lalita pawar style...key mere bete sey tera beta smart kaisey!!!!

1. In a satellite-broadcast world event, J.K. Rowlings appears before her millions of fans on the night before the announced release of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", holds her hand-written manuscript aloft, and in one supreme demonstration of the disdain she holds for all of her readers, casts the manuscript into a great cauldron of fire, declaring, "Now, you'll NEVER know how it ends, you little bastards!"